


Earth Guys Are Easy

by sabinelagrande



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Chair Sex, Drinking, F/M, First Meetings, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pre-Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Russian Translation Available, Woman on Top, You heard me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:43:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2112090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't use Earth as a pickup line. Sometimes it works anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Earth Guys Are Easy

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Земные парни легко доступны](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2549549) by [MouseGemini](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MouseGemini/pseuds/MouseGemini)



> For a prompt from an anon on tumblr, who really should have been more specific when they asked for Peter Quill and "someone".
> 
> Many thanks to dizmo for reading this over and giving me the fabulous title.

Okay, it's not that Peter tries to pick up girls in bars by telling them he's from Earth.

It's just that Peter mentions that he's from Earth to a lot of girls in bars.

And sometimes they roll their eyes, and sometimes they're intrigued, and sometimes they give him blank looks, but he thought that was pretty much the full range of responses he could expect. But this time, he was telling some girls who looked kind of unimpressed, like they were just tripping over Terrans everywhere they went, when somebody slapped him on the back. He whirled around, pretty sure he was about to get his ass kicked, but instead he came face to face with an excited-looking woman whom he'd seen come in earlier. At the time, she'd been with this huge dude with an awesome beard; when he peeked over her shoulder, it turned out that now the guy was apparently trying to eat the whole kitchen and drink half the bar.

"Midgardian!" she said, and before he knew what was happening she was hugging him fiercely, lifting him straight off the floor.

"Can't breathe," he wheezed, and thankfully she put him back on his feet.

"I did not think to meet someone from Earth in my travels," she said, clapping him on the back again. "Humans do not venture far. I thought there were none in this realm."

"Mostly just me," he said, trying not to get all _Man Who Fell To Earth_ or beg for details about home.

"Come, friend, and drink with me," she said, putting her arm around his shoulders. The girls he'd been talking to didn't seem very happy with him for leaving; they also hadn't seemed very happy before, so whatever. You snooze, you lose, and you also lose for not being totally excited about Earth.

So she buys him a drink and says her name is Sif- actually she says her name is the Lady Sif, but she doesn't slap him or anything when he drops the "Lady" part- and seems to know a lot about Earth. She doesn't know much that's new, since she doesn't live there, though she's been recently and thinks it's a great time. She could really say anything, because he's past getting into fights with stupid people over his home planet; he's just glad Earth is still a thing, and if that's all he can get, he'll fucking take it.

Two drinks later, and he's starting to get buzzed, though Sif's been through four and doesn't seem the least bit impaired. They've moved on from Earth to Sif's hand on his thigh, and he is completely in favor of anywhere she wants to put her hands. And then Sif is ready to leave; she doesn't say something like "Would you accompany me, brave warrior" or "My place or yours" or whatever. She just says, "Can you stand?" and when he manages to get vertical without stumbling, she slaps him on the back again- he's gonna have handprints by the time this is over- and tells him to take her home.

He takes her back to his ship, and they don't make it to a bed; they don't even make it off the flight deck. She just pushes him down into one of the chairs, shucking his pants before she climbs on.

Now he's down to just his jacket and his boxers- where did his shirt go? No idea. Didn't even know at the time. Not interesting when she's got her mouth against his neck, biting and sucking at his skin. Her fingers are moving over his chest, sliding along his collarbone and down. Her thumb glances over his nipple, and it feels fucking great; she must like what she hears, because she zeroes in on it, rolling his nipple between her fingers, pinching just hard enough to make him buck against her.

"Oh god," he says, lacking anything useful but feeling like he should say something to express how fucking awesome this is. " _Oh_ god."

She pulls away from him, grinning. "Now I know you are of Midgard," she says. "We are often called gods there."

"Well, I'm already pretty sure you're a sex goddess," he says.

Sif laughs. "Then worship me."

And he tries his absolute best, he really does. It's not exactly the most unappealing thing in the world, not when it means going to town on her breasts, sucking her nipples into his mouth. His hand slips down to play with her clit, until she's gasping, grinding hard enough against his leg that he's getting wet where their skin slides together.

She's so tight and hot when she sinks down around him, and he doesn't lose it, even though his eyes cross from how good it is, even though he has to dig his nails into his own thigh to distract himself. She's not interested in taking it easy, not interested in stopping, not interested in anything but fucking him, thrusting down onto him over and over again.

She bends down to kiss him, her hands sliding under his jacket; his body is so overheated, covered in sweat where the lining sticks to him. It's so worth it, somehow only makes it better, all the slickness of the two of them together, skin to skin. She's fucking him so hard it almost hurts when she slams down onto him, and he really can't find it in him to do anything but take it, just kiss her over and over again, his hands on her ass to urge her along, to keep her close- and really, because her ass is a great place for his hands to be.

She's getting closer, speeding up, and he's going to fucking die, he's a hundred percent sure of it. He's saying things and has no idea what they are, but he's pretty sure it doesn't matter, as long as they convey the general idea that he really wants more, so much more, as much as he can physically handle.

She throws her head back when she comes, shouting loud enough that he swears it shakes the ship. That, as it turns out, is as much as he can physically handle; he pushes up into her once, twice, and then he's done, coming harder than he has maybe ever, so hard that he shakes, feeling like he's just going to break apart into little pieces and that'll be that.

He just kind of slumps there, dazed, panting heavily; Sif smiles at him, kissing him sweetly, seemingly unfazed by the fact that he just kind of makes incoherent noises rather than respond. Half a minute later, she's already nipping at his ear and talking about next time, which apparently is coming up just about as fast as he can. He groans, not sure if that sounds like the best idea ever or like it'll kill him dead- but they really are so similar so often. She just laughs, running her fingers through his hair, and he rests his head against her chest, content to just stay there for a while.

See, _this_ is what should happen when he tells girls he's from Earth.


End file.
